I’m sorry Eli and Leah, daddy couldn’t take it.  I had to slash my wrists again tonight.  I tried my hardest to make Suzanne and me work.  But things got too heavy and I couldn’t.  It’s her birthday and she has another one of her friends over.  I tried so hard to make us a family, but she just didn’t want it.  She wasn’t ready for it and she had to get fucked, so I’m ending it now.  Don’t hate me, I didn’t mean for it to end like this.   I wanted to start a good life, get a bachelors and be successful.  But I had to leave for that.  She couldn’t wait and I ruined everything.  I couldn’t fulfill, my dreams and I wasn’t strong enough.  Everything will be ok, you all deserve more and hopefully you’ll get it.  I have to do this, because I couldn’t hold myself together.  Hopefully one day you’ll understand.  Until then, please keep me in your prayers.  I’ll always be watching over you, because your all that I’ve ever wanted.  I just lost you, because daddy wasn’t strong enough.  I couldn’t keep us together, but I’ll always be here.  Not in success and money, but in thought and mind.  Make me proud and don’t do the things that I’ve done.